In 2010, Congress proclaimed February National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month. February is recognized as a time to come together to educate communities about the prevalence of abuse in adolescent dating relationships, address advances in prevention and ensure that we promote healthy relationship skills in our youth.
According to the National Institute of Health (NIH), adolescent dating violence is a social and public health problem. The Michigan.gov website states that 1 in 3 teens reports knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped, or physically hurt by a partner. Nationally, the occurrence of violence in adolescent dating relationships affects 1.5 million high school students annually, a startling number with broad and long-term negative impact.
What is teen dating violence and prevalence
Teen dating violence, like domestic violence between adults, centers around an individual seeking to dominate another through the use of physical and sexual violence, intimidation, and coercive control. Unlike domestic violence, which occurs primarily in the privacy of a co-habitating couple’s home, teen dating violence has a broader spectrum for occurrence including in person, online, in social media, and through digital communications.
Common reported physically abusive behaviors of teens in violent relationships include shoving, slapping, punching, or threatening aggressive behavior. According to the National Institute of Justice (NIJ), girls and boys report similar levels, 36% and 35% respectively, of experiencing physical violence from a dating partner. Emotional and psychological abuse including intimidating, demeaning, humiliating, and fear-provoking verbal and physical behaviors is the most frequently reported type of abuse for both teen genders. The NIJ indicates that 73% of girls and 66% of boys report experiencing verbal abuse from their dating partner. Coerced or forced sexual intimacy is reported at high frequency by teenage girls, 3x more frequently than boys.
Teen dating violence profoundly impacts lifelong health, opportunity, and wellbeing. Unhealthy relationships can start early and last a lifetime. According to the Brown University Health Newsletter, teens involved in violent romantic relationships are prone to experience a number of conditions including depression and anxiety, eating disorders, misuse of substances, suicidal thoughts, and poorer school performance and are more likely to face domestic violence in adulthood (CDC).
The good news is violence is preventable, and we can all help young people grow up violence-free.
Prevention
Researchers have gained significant insights into violence prevention in teen relationships. Principles of prevention include educating children early about the principles of healthy relationships. Assuming that teens are learning about relationships at home perpetuates the secret cycle of violence that allows generational recurrence of domestic violence. Middle school students should be engaged in learning the basics of respect and boundaries in healthy relationships and the skills to apply these principles.
An example of an evidence-based prevention curriculum that has demonstrated success in decreasing teen dating violence, is Dating Matters: Strategies to Promote Healthy Teen Relationships. Developed by the CDC, Dating Matters is a comprehensive program for sixth to eighth grade youth and their parents. In addition to building youth relationship skills, the curriculum includes training for school staff, and policy and activities for implementation in the community. Students who completed the Dating Matters curriculum reported 19% reduced risk for teen dating violence perpetration, 24% reduced risk for teen dating violence victimization, 7% reduced risk for use of negative conflict strategies, and 3% more use of positive relationship skills. (Niolon et al, National Center for Injury Prevention and Control).
Signs your teen is in an unhealthy relationship
Signs that your teen may be struggling with their romantic relationship include:
• Expressing excessive stress or anxiety about the relationship.
• Extreme jealousy, insecurity or controlling behaviors.
• Demonstrating or expressing increasing or excessive concern with not being “enough” to keep their boyfriend or girlfriend interested and increased expressions of self-doubt, apologizing or self-loathing.
• Isolating themselves, spending less time with friends and or disengaging from the family or enjoyable activities to spend increasing time either in person or online with their dating partner.
• Experiencing fluctuating moods that appear to be closely tied to communications or time spent with their dating partner.
• The appearance of unexplained scratches or bruises.
What you can do
If you have concerns that a teen close to you is in an abusive relationship, either as the abused or abuser—parents, grandparents, teachers, clergy—reach out to the teen and start a conversation.
Be non-judgmental, using open-ended non-accusatory language. Don’t assume that you know what he or she is thinking, feeling or experiencing.
Listen and reflect. Phrases like “You sound….”, “You seem…”, “I heard you say…” help to start a conversation. If you are met with silence, don’t be offended. This is not about you. Not unlike an adult in a domestic violence situation, keep in mind that confusion, shame, guilt and or fear can be part of reluctance to disclose.
There are resources specifically designed for teens in violent dating relationships like Love is Respect which includes a National Dating Abuse Hotline at www.loveisrespect.org or call 1-866-331-9474 or text “LOVEIS” to 22522. Advocates are available to talk with to prevent and end abusive relationships.
For teens experiencing digital dating abuse, the Cyberbullying Research Center at cyberbullying.org offers Digital Dating Abuse Tips for Teens.
For signs and symptoms of declining mental health or substance abuse, offer the opportunity to talk with a professional therapist or counselor who specializes in adolescent mental health.
Carol Zuniga, MS, CEO of Hegira Health, Inc., has nearly 40 years’ experience in the behavioral healthcare industry. A Limited Licensed Psychologist in Michigan for 35 years, she was recognized in 2020 by Crain’s Detroit as a Leading Woman in Healthcare. Hegira Health, Inc., a Certified Community Behavioral Health Clinic (CCBHC), is a leading provider of behavioral healthcare services with clinic locations in Western Wayne and the Downriver communities, including Hegira Health Behavioral Urgent Care, providing walk-in behavioral urgent care services to children (ages 6 and up) and adults, seven days per week from 8 a.m. to 10 p.m.
